Believe
by Puritina
Summary: AU Bianca never believed in a God, until she met Clare Edwards. Set during season 10.
1. Chapter 1

**Believe**

Clare Edwards was headed to her English class to turn in her paper. She promised Mrs. Dawes she would get it to her on time and she intended to keep that promise - especially after she had asked her to extend the due date. She was prepared to do so, her paper was kept securely in her organized binder that she was holding at the moment, but something or rather _someone_ seemed to get in the way of that.

Her blue eyes gazed upon a sight that she thought she would never see in a million eyes - Bianca De'Sousa sitting on the floor near the lockers, crying her eyes out. Something tugged at Clare's heart and a voice screamed inside her head to go and talk to the girl, but admittedly she was scared.

Bianca was the bad girl of Degrassi High, and she could kick your butt for even looking at her the wrong way. Yet the voice in her head didn't seem to care about that. _"Gosh Alli's going to hate me for this, and probably Adam too.." _Clare's heart beat sped up as she drew in a deep breath and braced herself for the worse. She walked over to Bianca, trying to make sure her steps were extra quiet so she wouldn't alarm the girl. She tapped her on the shoulder and flinched involuntarily when she looked up at her with those angry eyes. Yet, Clare seemed to see something more. They were blood shot, and you could tell just how tired she was.

"What the hell do you want!" she hissed, and Clare jumped a little, her blue eyes widening at Bianca's response.

"I...I uh, I just-"

"Spit it out Edward's!"

Freshman Clare would have ran off already, but this was the new improved Clare, and she was not going to let some girl with a bad temper run her off so easily. She dropped her bags on the floor and sat next to her, and Bianca's eyes widened in response, "What the hell are you doing!"

"I just wanted to know if you were ok," she mumbled.

"Why do you care!"

She had to think about that. Why did she care? Bianca was no friend of hers. If anything she would do everything in her power to stay away from girls like Bianca. But at the same time she knew that she had to reach out to Bianca, "Everyone needs someone who cares about them..."

For once Bianca didn't say anything, she just stared down at the squeaky clean ground. Seconds ticked by and the two didn't bother to say anything.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Clare told her.

"I know I don't!" she snapped.

Clare rolled her eyes, "You don't have to put up a fight every time someone says something either. I'm just trying to make sure that everything's ok with you."

She opened her mouth to say something but Clare kept talking, "I know that I don't know you well Bianca. I know that we're not friends, and maybe you'll never want to be friends with me...But, I'm not the type of person to just walk away from someone who's obviously hurt."

Bianca could hear the sincerity in Clare's voice, and she knew that she was telling the truth, "Wow...You really are a saint."

Clare shrugged, but smiled.

"I...I wasn't really snapping at you. I'm just having a bad day," she stated and Clare waited for her to continue.

"You know it's just family issues...personal stuff. I just have to accept that..." she bit her bottom lip and wondered if she should say anything. She didn't know Clare Edwards too well, but for some strange reason she seemed to trust her, "If you tell anyone what I'm about to tell you I swear I'll-"

"I promise," she muttered softly, "I won't."

"...My aunt's been on my case lately. She thinks I'm a bad person, and it doesn't help that I get nothing but hate when I come here...But I guess not everyone can be loved right?" she stated bitterly, shoving her tears down her throat. It was one thing to admit her feelings to some girl she barely knew, but she would _never_ in a million years let herself cry in front of someone.

"You're wrong."

The words were clear as bells but Bianca didn't seem to understand, "Excuse me?"

"Bianca...what if there was someone that loved you more than you could ever know? What if you knew about him I mean? Would you act differently knowing that there's someone who loves you so much that they would do anything for you?" she asked.

Bianca blinked. What the hell was this girl saying?

"Well yeah I guess..."

"What if that person was there all along?"

"Cut to the chase Edwards."

"I don't know if you believe...maybe you don't but, there is someone watching over you. He loves you so much, that he sent his own Son to die so that you could have a better life. When you cry, he cries too, and when you're happy so is he. He loves you more than anything in this world," she told her.

"A-Are you preaching to me?" she accused, her voice sounding like acid.

Clare held her hands up defensively, "S-Sorry! I just...you know what maybe I should get to class."

"Yeah maybe you should," she glared.

"I'm sorry."

"Just go," she said and Clare scurried off.

But no matter how angry she seemed those words stuck with her and she wondered. What if he was real? What if there was a God out there who really did love her after all? What if there was a better life than the one she was living right now? And for a brief second, she believed.

A/N: Wow, it's been a while since I've written on this account. I just wanted to post something short on here. Let me know what you guys think. God bless!


	2. Chapter 2

**Satisfaction**

Bianca couldn't get her conversation with Clare out of her head. She felt stupid for even believing for a minute that God was real, but for some reason she still pondered the thought. It amazed Bianca how Clare's words could have such an impact on Bianca. For as long as Bianca had been alive she had always been an atheist. She didn't come from a good family that took her to church. Even when her parents were alive church had never been their thing. They were good people, but they certainly weren't religious. Yet, there had to be some type of God, because Clare seemed to speak these words so clearly.

"Bianca!" The sound of Fitz's voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she looked up at him.

She had almost forgotten where she was. The two of them were at Bianca's house. Her aunt was gone and wouldn't be home for hours because she had taken on extra work, and Fitz had convinced her into letting him come here. The two of them were drinking their third can of beer for the night as they let the TV play though they had no intention of watching TV tonight.

"What is it?"

"You were out of it for a minute Bee. Need another drink?" he asked.

She shook her head as she put her can of beer down. Right now she needed something that would help her forget about all of this God nonsense. And Fitz was sure to help her forget.

"Why don't we go in my bedroom?" she purred.

She didn't have to ask him twice. He set his can of beer down and then picked her up. She squealed and then started to giggle. Leave it to Fitz to do something out of the ordinary.

Bianca had been in love with Fitz for as long as she could remember. When they first met in middle school she had a huge crush on him, but he never returned the feelings. But when high-school came, he took notice of her new look. She no longer wore her dorky glasses and she no longer had frizzy hair. She was hot, sexy, and confident, but too bad on the inside she didn't feel like this at all.

As he laid her on the bed their clothes were being thrown on the floor carelessly. He wasted no time kissing her, exploring parts of her body, and whispering things that he didn't really mean into her ear.

By the time they were done, Bianca was surprised to say the least. Whenever she had sex with Fitz, she had always felt happy and satisfied, but now that satisfaction was wearing off. She needed more, but she wasn't sure what she needed more of.

He kissed her again when they were done but she turned her face from him.

"What's wrong?" he asked her.

"Nothing I just...I think that you should leave Fitz. I'll see you tomorrow."

He shrugged her statement off as he looked around for his clothes. When he got them he walked out the door without asking her anymore questions. He had gotten what he needed anyway.

**XOXO**

The next day, school seemed to pass by uneventfully. Fitz hadn't come to school today so Bianca just hung out with Owen and his friends. Owen and his friends made jokes about Bianca, commenting on her body and her status at this school.

"So who's your next victim Bee?"

"Excuse me?" She raised an eyebrow at the guy.

"Yeah Bee, who's your next sex slave? We all know you're addicted." The kids laughed at her and she rolled her eyes though on the inside she was hurt. She was tired of her image at the school. All it did was give guys the right to think that they could talk to her however they wanted.

Owen saw a certain look in her eyes and he cleared his throat, "Aye guys that's enough."

"But we were just getting started." Another guy laughed and Bianca scoffed.

"Shut the fuck up alright? You don't know a damn thing about me." She walked over towards him, and dumped her tray of food on his head and the group looked at him and laughed.

"She got you good bro."

She was already annoyed with the people she was sitting with, and so she walked off. She made her way into the halls, already planning that she would spend the rest of lunch time in the bathroom. As she walked through the halls she saw Clare Edwards again, and she groaned. She was the cause of all this. She was the reason that she wasn't happy.

Clare looked at her for a minute, and then she moved her eyes downward, suddenly becoming interested in the Degrassi halls. Sure she wasn't as shy and awkward as she had been last year, but Bianca still managed to make her nervous.

"Hey! You!"

Clare turned and looked at Bianca, a little surprised. She pointed to herself to make sure.

"Yeah Clare I'm talking to you. Come here," she muttered bitterly.

Clare hated how Bianca made her feel like a little kid that was going to get punished all over again but she walked towards her anyway, "What do you need?"

"This is all your fault! You had to bring up the whole God shit didn't you?"

"Bianca-"

"No, you listen here. I was perfectly happy with my life until you came along and started preaching shit to me."

Clare raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure you were perfectly happy with your life? Because I think if you were you wouldn't have been crying in the hallway yesterday."

For the first time in a while Bianca fell silent.

"I'm not the reason that you feel unsatisfied with your life. When you feel like that little tug at your heart, or that voice in your head telling you that there has to be something more. That's not me Bianca, it's God."

Bianca rolled her eyes, "Great more religious shit."

"It's not about religion. It's about an intimate relationship with the one who created you."

When Bianca didn't say anything she continued. Clare pulled something out of her bag and Bianca looked at it curiously, "What the hell is this?"

"Look, Jesus Club has lunch together every Friday and all new comers are welcome."

Bianca practically roared with laughter, "You're kidding me right?"

"It's your choice of course, but if you want to know what God's all about, then you'll come...And I do think you want to know at least a little something about him." Clare smiled as she continued, "I wonder what got to you. Was it the fact that I said that there's someone who will always love you? Or that someone cares?"

Bianca's head was screaming at Clare to stop but she didn't say anything.

"Or was it-"

"Clare!" Bianca rolled her eyes as she saw Alli approaching. Bianca hated Alli with a passion. Her voice was whiny and she was just a selfish bitch in her mind. Then again who was Bianca to say anything? She had her own set of problems.

**XOXO**

Bianca left without saying anything and Clare walked over towards Alli, a nervous smile on her face, "Hey!"

Alli glared at her best friend, "Hey? That's all you're going to say? Why were you talking to Bianca?"

"It was nothing."

"And by nothing you mean-"

"I mean nothing." Clare bit her bottom lip as she looked back at where Bianca had been standing. No, it was wasn't anything, not _yet. _

**A/N: **Shout out to Infamous-Gemini! Thank you for encouraging me to add more to this story. I hope everyone enjoyed it and please check out stories written by Infamous-Gemini, they're really good!


	3. Chapter 3

**Truth**

The time seemed to pass by Bianca all too quickly. It was Friday morning now, and Bianca was getting ready for school when she saw her aunt sitting at the table in their kitchen, crying her eyes out. The sobs were coming all too quickly, and Bianca wondered why. She took a seat next to her aunt as she looked at her, "_Tia? _What's wrong?"

Her aunt refused to respond, instead she just continued to try and stuff her tears down her throat. Bianca felt the urge to hug her or something, but she refrained from that. She wasn't on good terms with her and she didn't know if she ever would be.

"Get to school Bianca!"

"But-"

"Just get to school!" she shouted.

Bianca sighed as she grabbed her bag and walked out of the house. It had to be something bad because her aunt never cried, but what could it be?

**...**

School seemed to pass by in a blur for her. She barely even noticed her friends talking to her, and at the moment she really didn't care. She would never admit it but it made her upset to see her aunt so unhappy. Even if her aunt hated her, she was all she had at the moment. Sure, there were aunt's and uncles of hers that were around, but they didn't want anything to do with her. Most of her relatives had joined gangs and the other ones just didn't care about her. They either heard all the trouble that she had gotten into, or they never knew she was alive to begin with.

The bell rang, pulling her out of her thoughts. She grabbed her bag and started to walk out the door when she felt someone grab her hand. She turned around and saw Fitz standing there. She almost forgot that he was in this class.

"Oh hey Fitz."

For some reason he looked nervous and his friends stood behind him, laughing slightly. She raised an eyebrow, "Something you need?"

He cleared his throat, "I was just thinking...about us-"

"Us?"

His friends laughed even harder. Owen nudged him slightly, "Told you you were just another fuck buddy."

Bianca crossed hear arms over her chest as she rolled her eyes at Owen, "Owen shut the fuck up."

She turned back towards Fitz, "Seriously Fitz spit it out."

"I was thinking that we should make this official."

For a second she was confused, but then she let the words sink in. Was he saying that he wanted her to be his girlfriend? Her eyes grew hard even though on the inside she was practically jumping with joy, "Is this some type of joke."

"Why would it be-"

"Just answer the question Fitz." He noticed the hurt in her eyes and that's when he realized that Bianca wasn't as confident as he thoughts he was.

"It's not a joke Bianca. I like you, and I really don't want you seeing anyone else."

Owen cleared his throat as he looked at the couple awkwardly, "Well this just got weird. See ya losers."

Owen walked away with his friends, leaving just the two of them alone. Bianca was still in shock. Fitz wasn't the type of guy to want to only be with one person. What changed?

"Fitz where is all of this coming from?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you hate relationships. You hate sticking to one girl. That's why we made the agreement in the first place."

"There's no other girl Bianca, that I really want to sleep with. There's just you."

Her heart fluttered for a second, and then she smiled, "Alright Mr. Corny, I'll think about it. Let's get some lunch."

They walked inside the cafeteria together, and Bianca felt happy again. As she looked through her bag she remembered the flyer for Jesus Club but she shrugged it off, she didn't need Jesus Club did she? After all, things were finally looking up.

**...**

After school Bianca was waiting by the bus stop when she saw her again. She groaned.

It was Clare Edwards, the Jesus Freak.

She decided not to say anything, avoiding the curly haired girls gaze, but that didn't stop Clare from approaching her. She walked towards her quietly, looking around probably to see if any of her friends would notice. Bianca rolled her eyes at the thought. It was clear that her friends hated her. She could kind of understand why. She'd been a bitch to Adam, and that affected everything. She wanted to apologize for it, but that would make her look weak so she decided just to pretend like it didn't happen, and move on.

A tap to her shoulder was all she needed to know that she wasn't going to be able to get out of a conversation with Clare today.

She sighed, "What do you want?"

"I noticed that you didn't come to Jesus Club today."

She almost chuckled at Clare, "I didn't make any promises Clare. Is that all you wanted?"

For a second she didn't say anything, but then she nodded, "I just...I thought you wanted some answers to your questions that's all."

"Clare! The day we talked...it was just a bad day for me alright? But everything's better now and I don't need your stupid Jesus Club for that!" She scoffed when she saw Clare still standing there.

"What?" she hissed.

"I was just wondering, how exactly did your life get better Bianca?"

Bianca really didn't feel like sharing this information with her. More than anything she just wanted Clare to leave her alone but she decided to tell the girl anyway, "The guy that I love more than anything finally wants a real relationship. I already have love Clare, I don't need it from your invisible God."

Clare smiled at this and Bianca couldn't understand why. Didn't she just insult the girl and her religion?

"And what happens when all of that fades away? What happens if this guy that you love breaks your heart, and you're left on your own again? Are you going to look for another guy? Are you going to turn to other things to seek pleasure? Because that's all that is Bianca, is pleasure. Pleasure that will fill you up and make you happy but never completely."

Bianca fell silent.

"My boyfriend, Eli Goldsworthy, is the most amazing guy to me. I love him so much." She paused as she felt the heat creep up to her face, "Don't tell him I said that ok?"

Bianca almost found herself laughing at the girls innocence, "Yeah, because Eli and I get along so well Clare."

"Oh right..." She messed with her hands a little before continuing, "Anyway the point is, even though I'm crazy about him, I know that the good times don't always last. But I also know that if he left me, I would be ok. Because I'll always feel complete with God in my life."

Again Bianca didn't say anything as she looked at Clare.

Clare smiled, "Just something to think about of course...I should get going, my mom's here. Goodbye Bianca."

Bianca stood there as Clare walked away, once again dumb founded by her choice of words. What if she was right after all of this? Bianca shook her head, no, she just couldn't be.

**...**

When Bianca arrived home she was shocked to see that her aunt was still there. She was sitting in the living room now, with a beer bottle in her hand as she watched _novelas._

"_Tia_ what are you doing home? I thought you worked today."

Her aunt sighed as she turned the TV off and put the empty beer bottle down. She patted the seat next to her and Bianca awkwardly took a seat on the couch as she looked at her auntie.

"Bianca...I got laid off." Her aunt could barely say the words without sobbing again, and Bianca just stood there, completely shocked.

"What? T-That's impossible! You're such a hard worker couldn't they have found somebody else to lay-"

"I don't know how it happened. I worked there for so long. I put my heart and soul into that job and now it's just...gone. Just like that. I have to start looking for more work tomorrow. But this means you have to get a job too."

Bianca nodded. Even though she didn't want a job she would do what she had to.

"What are the odds of us getting jobs?"

Her aunt sighed as she got up and went to the refrigerator, looking for more beer. She grabbed another bottle and chugged half of it down her throat. Then she looked at Bianca with determined eyes, "Slim to none...but we have to try Bianca. We have to."

**A/N: **I don't know how long this story is going to be, but I'm not that good with chapter stories so at most it will be ten chapters. I hope you guys enjoyed and thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Help****  
**

It'd practically been a week and Bianca and her aunt still couldn't manage to find any jobs. Bianca was searching as hard as she could, but that didn't seem to matter to her aunt. She was constantly being yelled at for not finding a job, and she hated it. She was trying her best, but her aunt never understood that. It was Saturday morning now, and Bianca finally reached the point where she couldn't take it anymore. Her aunt Juliana was getting on her last nerves. She was drinking past the legal limit every day, and she was sitting at home and doing nothing! Bianca had never seen her like this, and it frightened and shocked her all at the same time.

She left without muttering anything to her aunt, and she quickly decided to head over to the Dot. There were tears in her eyes but she wiped them off quickly, she didn't want anyone to see her like that.

**...**

By the time she arrived she had finally calmed down enough to stop her tears. She just didn't understand what was going on. She knew Juliana was under pressure, but why did she always take that out on Bianca? Still, she forced herself to be strong. That's how she had always been. From the time that both of her parents died, to now. She entered the Dot, ready to drown out her sorrows in a big burger, fries, and a shake. She ordered just that and the waiter flashed her a comforting smile and told her that he'd be on it. She took a seat in an empty table as she pulled out her phone. There were text messages from Fitz and Owen but she didn't bother to answer them. She had agreed to a relationship with Fitz but right now she really didn't feel like talking to anyone. She just wanted to eat her food in peace and be alone with her thoughts for once.

The waiter came back with her order and she mumbled a bitter thank you as she dug into her food. She really didn't care who was watching her at the moment. Half way through her meal she looked up and she felt like screaming her head off. There was Clare Edwards, once again. How many times was she going to have to see the freak? She thought to herself.

Clare was seated with a group of people that Bianca didn't know. She had seen Clare with Eli, Adam, Alli, and Jenna, but she had never seen these people before. The curious side of her wondered who they were, but then she remembered, she didn't care. She didn't give a crap about Clare Edwards anyway. The girl was just a pain in her ass. She continued eating as she tried not to look at Clare, she didn't want to draw any attention to herself.

**...**

Clare was sitting with a few members from church on Saturday. She really just wanted to get out of the house, and since her boyfriend was busy today, she figured why not hang out with the church? Her parents had been fighting non stop lately, and she really didn't want to deal with it. The church members talked about their personal struggles with faith, and that's when everything just started pouring out for Clare. She told them about her family issues and she wondered if she should have done that. Her family had this reputation to keep up. They were supposed to be the 'Perfect Christian Family', but the truth was, they were just as dysfunctional as everyone else. Clare knew God would help her get through it, but sometimes the burdens felt so heavy that she wasn't sure if she could make it. She still kept her faith though because she knew that all of these obstacles would only make her stronger.

As the group talked and laughed, she turned her head and noticed Bianca sitting there alone. How many times had she run into the girl now? Clare thought to herself. But then she thought maybe it was a sign. Maybe Clare was supposed to talk to Bianca, or be friends with her, or something. She didn't want to bother Bianca, but she felt something pulling at her to go to talk to Bianca, and now was the perfect time. It's not like Clare had anything to hide, but she didn't exactly want to answer questions from Adam, Eli, and Alli about why she was hanging out with Bianca.

"You guys, I'll just be a minute ok?"

The group nodded and continued talking, and Clare drew in a deep breath as she walked over to Bianca.

**...**

Bianca could hear light footsteps and she looked up to see a petite girl with porcelain skin and curly brown hair. She rolled her eyes.

Of course it was Clare.

She put her shake down as she glared at Clare, "What is it Edwards? Can't I just eat in peace?"

Surprisingly Clare chuckled at this, "Of course, I just wanted to see how you were doing. May I sit down?"

Bianca rolled her eyes, "It's a free country."

Clare took a seat across from her as she played with her hands nervously, "So..."

"So what Clare?"

"I was just wondering-"

"It's not always good to wonder"

Clare rolled her eyes at Bianca's sassy comments, "Ok Bianca, you can refrain from your comebacks you know? It's just me."

"And what's that's supposed to mean?"

"Ugh! Nothing I was just going to ask you," she looked down at the table shyly, "How is your mother?"

For a minute Bianca didn't say anything. She had expected another sermon, but this, this was far from that. She let out a bitter chuckle, "Well she lost her job and now we both have to start looking for jobs or else we'll have to move. We haven't had any luck yet."

"I'm sorry," Clare said.

"Unless you were the one that fired her, you have nothing to be sorry about."

Clare tossed her a small smile and nodded.

"Besides, I guess not everyone gets to be happy right?"

"What?"

"Isn't that how your little God works? He gives some people perfect families and then the other ones he just says screw you to? That's how it feels," Bianca stated bitterly.

"No family is perfect Bianca."

"Oh really? Last time I checked your parents were still alive and you didn't have to live with your aunt. Last time I checked you weren't looking for a job. Your little parents have everything figured out don't they?" Bianca accused.

Clare was fed up with this, but she tried to keep her composure, "Don't pretend like you know me ok? You know nothing about my family!"

Bianca was surprised to hear Clare raise her voice, but before she could mutter another word Clare kept talking.

"I know you've been through a lot Bianca, but that doesn't mean it's ok for you to be rude to the people around you. All I'm trying to do is be a friend, because everyone needs a friend Bianca. And for your information my family is far from perfect. They argue everyday and they're planning on getting a divorce."

"Clare-"

"No, just listen ok? They have no idea what kind of stress that is on me. I've grown up with my family being a loving little family, and then all of the sudden something changes," Clare felt something getting caught in her throat as her eyes began to sting but she kept talking, "They stop going out on little dates. They stop giving each other hugs and kisses and sooner or later all they have left is the routine."

"Alright Clare! I get it. I guess your family isn't perfect, but at least they're alive. My parents died when I was three years old. All I have is my aunt right now, and I don't even know if she likes me." Saying everything out loud made Bianca want to cry, "I don't have anyone Clare."

Clare cleared her throat as she looked at Bianca, "Did you know I have a sister Bianca?"

"No."

"Her name is Darcy. She was raped," Clare could barely say the word without breaking down, "And then she took off. She was the closest thing that I ever had. My parents never really payed attention to me when I was younger and my sister was everything to me. When she got raped she changed. She felt like she had no one, and then she took off to Africa. I haven't even heard from her since that day!"

Bianca didn't know what to say. She wanted to say that she was sorry but she couldn't get the words out of her mouth.

Clare drew in another breath, "All I'm saying is that...God gives us hardships. He never said life was going to be easy, but if we just let everything that's happening to us control what we do with our life, then we're going to end up miserable. You always have someone Bianca, you always have God."

Bianca thought that she would yell at Clare for preaching again, but she didn't. She just sat there, completely astonished. She never expected anything to be wrong with Clare's family and it made her wonder how she had the strength to keep believing in a God that let all of these things happen. Interrupting the two teens intense gaze, her phone rang. It was Fitz.

"I...I have to go," Bianca mumbled as she grabbed her bag.

"Just think about what I said ok?"

Bianca felt herself nodding as she made her way out the Dot. She answered her phone in the process, "Hey Fitz."

"Hey, I need to see you like now."

Bianca smiled, "That bad huh?"

"This isn't the time to be cute Bee!" Fitz snapped.

Bianca was confused now, "Hey don't yell at me! Now what's going on?"

"Your little friend...he's back. And he wants to see you."

"My little friend?"

"Anson."

The word sent a shiver down her spine. She felt her throat become dry, "No...No that can't-"

"He sent me a little message today. Told me that if he didn't see you soon something bad was going to happen."

Bianca couldn't speak now. Her past was coming back to haunt her and she wasn't sure what to do.

"Bee? Be careful. Please be very careful. You know as well as I do that this guy is capable of anything."

"Yeah," she cleared her throat, "Alright. Fitz, I'll meet you at the Rave."

"Alright, be there in 10."

**A/N: **Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think :)


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